im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You need a sexual gate keeper
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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