Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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