And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
