So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
and you fell through a lawn chair
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
