we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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