It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We talked him into tasing himself.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
