Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
