Have you finally orgasmed yet?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
