quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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