ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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