so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize