moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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