definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
