i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
