I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
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