Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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