remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
