dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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