So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize