im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I am full of burrito and curiosity
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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