yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Randomize
