Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
