I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
