Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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