quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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