so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
