Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
