is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize