Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I would ride that face into the sunset
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
