I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
