I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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