i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Randomize
