im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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