You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
