If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
