how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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