dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
How does it feel to date your dad?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
