3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
