Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
