I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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