We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
