fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Randomize
