i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
you are never too drunk for berry picking
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
