Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize