I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
