yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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