god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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