do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
