Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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