My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
