so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize