we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
