I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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