Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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