Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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